Ay ay ay

First, I still have no idea what was wrong with this blog...it still looks normal to me, apparently not to others...sorry about that. Maybe it will fix itself? One can hope : ).

So I was working on today's study in Breaking Free - Beth Moore - and came across a dilemma. She was talking about peace being an attribute of being free (sorry Mel, I'm still on week 2! not catching up so fast after all...) and said something that caught my attention...which I'm going to paraphrase because I don't have the study in front of me at the moment. She pointed out that sometimes we become aware of peace, the real kind as opposed to the fleeting kind, when we stop asking "Why" about the events in our lives, accepting instead that God is sovereign. So I agree that asking "Why" can be a deterrent to peace...but just how do you stop asking? I'm sure that it isn't just me that feels such a need to understand the purpose behind what God allows to go on in my life...but it's occurring to me that I don't even know how to really accept that I cannot, and will not, understand everything. I don't mean everything as in the entirety of the body of knowledge of all mankind...ha, that would be a feat!...but I mean everything as in understanding why things happen. Sometimes I drive myself nuts thinking and rethinking and then thinking some more about what has gone on in the past year and how I may or may not have been the cause of it all and how it has changed my life for the better or worse...all basically a cry that says "WHY?" I realized today that though I think that I accept God is sovereign, I think that I can mess things up, not follow the path He has set out for me... somewhere between God being 'Setter of Sarah's destiny' and free will, I get lost. So how do you stop asking Why?, how do you reconcile our sin and bad choices with God's perfect plan for our lives, how do you accept the tough things without knowing, maybe ever, the purpose behind them?

And now, just to end on a slightly more positive note, some quotes that I've run across and loved lately:
"When we've come into God's grace, every day is lived fully and wonderfully - sometimes His grace allows us to enjoy what happens and sometimes His grace allows us to endure what happens." Graham Cook (?)

"You stir man to take pleasure in praising You, because You have made us for Yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in You." St. Augustine

"I said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest- I would flee far away and stay in the desert; Selah
I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm." Psalm 55:6-8