"real life"

I saw this on Vitamin Z's blog (see left) today - was posted on Carlos' (http://alreadyandnotyet.blogspot.com/2009/03/cs-lewis-on-real-life-interruptions.html) before that... In light of the last post I wrote, this is a good perspective, so I'm copying and pasting for your reading pleasure. That CS Lewis, such brilliance.

"C.J. Mahaney has been talking about Biblical Productivity over at his blog. In his latest installment he discusses Scheduling the Unexpected. He also shares this convicting quote by C.S. Lewis on how we view these interruptions that are sometimes quite unpleasant.

"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s “own,” or “real” life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life—the life God is sending one day by day; what one calls one’s “real life” is a phantom of one’s own imagination. This at least is what I see at moments of insight: but it’s hard to remember it all the time." The Quotable Lewis (Wheaton, IL.: Tyndale House Publishers, 1989), 335."

Am I supposed to love what I do?

So I think most of you have heard me whine about work lately...and if not, I'll spare you the details - suffice it to say that work has been a challenge this semester and I feel serious dislike bordering hatred of it most days. A couple weeks ago as I was in tears over it all Marc said "maybe your job isn't for your happiness, maybe it's for your sanctification." He had just attended a men's retreat and had heard a speaker talk about the best book for marriage having that theme - that marriage isn't for happiness but rather for sanctification, and I guess that thought made an impact. Sometimes the things we do get hard (ie marriage, work, relationships, etc.), and the first thing we want to do (or at least that I want to do) is to bolt. Find something different to do. Something that makes me "happy." Nowhere that I'm aware of does the Bible say that God has done things the way he has for our happiness...our peace, our joy, our assurance, our righteousness, our holiness - yes; our happiness - no.

So this has had me thinking for the last couple weeks. Where did I get the impression that you're supposed to love what you do? Should you in fact love what you do, and if you don't, find something else to do? Does God sometimes use a growing sense of discontent with our jobs to move us into something else? Or am I just suffering from the grass is always greener syndrome? Do I buck up and do what I need to do with the intention of sticking with it because God is certainly using this time to remind me that I need his help, or do I buck up and do what I need to do with the intention of looking for something else in June? Why do I want to run away when things get hard? Is God using this turn in my job to get my heart ready to start having a family, or is my longing to stay home and start having babies based solely on not wanting to work anymore? Am I just lazy? I know that being a stay-at-home mom isn't easy, but it sure sounds better than what I'm currently doing. And what if when the time comes to start having a family I can't stay home for financial reasons...oh, that brings on the tears for sure. The thought of trying to be a wife and a mom and a good teacher all at the same time sounds awful. I know there are lots of women who do it, and do all three well...I just don't want to. I think that might make me a big baby who cries too many self-pitying tears.

Ugh, enough. Too many questions, no answers. What do you think? Should we love what we do? Should our happiness in the thing we spend so many hours a week doing have any swaying power or do we just grit our teeth and make the most of the weekends? God certainly uses experiences that we don't necessarily enjoy to sanctify us, so should I just get over this idea of happiness and know God is using my job to work changes in me? Is it okay to want (or maybe fantasize about!) a change?

I did 2 pushups today!!!!

fat bottom girls make the rockin' world go round

Folks, I've come to a sad (pitiful really) conclusion recently. As I was thinking I was getting good at the killer pushup/side-raiser-thing on my snazzy new Wii Fit, Marc informs me that I am doing cheater pushups. So, he shows me how correct form should be, and then shows me what I've been doing (for years, thinking I was doing pushups! geez!). As it turns out, I cannot do even 1 single stinking pushup. Starting from the ground, I cannot push myself up. Not once. Pathetic!!! Agh!!!

Alas, it seems that a lack of self control and discipline has worked its way into every aspect of my life. That is a very frustrating realization to come to. BUT, the good news, as my husband who is firmly anchored in reality reminds me, is that my lack of arm strength and my freshman 15 and my total addiction to all things full of sugar and my seeming inability to go to bed earlier so that I can wake up with enough time to read my Bible at least somewhat coherently before leaving for work with enough time that I can get there on time without bringing out the speed racer routine, are all just facts of reality. (That was a long sentence!) And, being facts of reality, they don't dictate future potential. In other words, I can do something about them. While a little bit overwhelming, this is still good news. Just because I cannot currently comfortably squeeze myself into jeans I wore a mere year ago doesn't mean that I will never be able to. And while I currently cannot do one measly pushup, that doesn't mean I never will. In fact, what a party I think I'll throw the day I can do 1 pushup! Because just a little bit of success will breed more success I'm pretty sure.

The pastor at our church has been talking lately about a verse that compares believers to farmers and it has been very convicting, and also very encouraging. The farmer does all he can to plant the seeds and pull the weeds, but at the end of the day he has to pray for rain. In other words, a changed heart is truly up to God to work in me, but there are weeds that I need to be pulling in the meantime. So, on that note, those of you who love me - keep me accountable please. Ask me if I'm waking up on time, or if I've made it to the gym, or just exactly how many cookies I've downed. I'll be working on these weeds, some of which have some mighty long roots. Fortunately for me, God will be doing the changing. What a relief!

08 in pictures

A trip to see dino footprintsFlying kites for EasterA fun day at a Medieval FaireA gorgeous day spent hiking in the mountains north of Albuquerque A crazy week spent at Disney World

Lots of rock bandPlaying Apples to Apples and waiting for Brandon to be born

Brandon is here!!1st Anniversary

A quick visit from Luke

Lots of concerts, this one in a botanical garden

Playing music - this time for the fam, but also at church this fall

Marc's 10 yr high school reunion

Camping with our wonderful home group (Marc caught a fish!)

Skiing and snowboarding at Pajarito over Christmas break (Christmas in Albuquerque and Hewitt this year)

A gorgeous sunrise we saw
A prayer for 2009 from The Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions:

O Lord, Length of days does not profit me except the days are passed in thy presence, in thy service, to thy glory. Give me a grace that precedes, follows, guides, sustains, sanctifies, aids every hour, that I may not be one moment apart from thee, but may rely on thy Spirit to supply every thought, speak in every word, direct every step, prosper every work, build up every mote of faith, and give me a desire to show forth thy praise, testify thy love, advance thy kingdom. I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year, with thee, O Father, as my harbour, thee, O Son, at my helm, thee, O Holy Spirit, filling my sails. Guide me to heaven with my loins girt, my lamp burning, my ear open to thy calls, my heart full of love, my soul free. Give me thy grace to sanctify me, thy comforts to cheer, thy wisdom to teach, thy right hand to guide, thy counsel to instruct, thy law to judge, thy presence to stabilize. May thy fear by my awe, thy triumphs my joy.

tagged, again!

8 shows I love to watch
1. the office, a newly discovered awesome show that makes me laugh SO hard! (we can instant stream it from net flix over the xbox!)
2. I used to watch a lot of Alias
3. Also used to be preeeetty addicted to the Gilmore Girls
4. Watched 24 pretty regularly when I lived with my p's
5. Our tv doesn't actually play any tv
6. just movies and video games
7. hence the lack of fav shows
8. sorry, I just read a lot, I like books better anyway : )

8 things I look forward to
1. the home group progressive dinner of awesomeness on Thursday!!
2. going home for Christmas, on Friday!!!
3. Christmas break - two whole weeks of freeeeeeeedom!
4. getting up to the mountains to play in the snow while at home!
5. Marc coming home from his friend Dan's house in an hour or so!
6. eventually not being sick - could this crud not drag on forever??
7. learning how to make chicken noodle soup with homemade noodles with my mentor!
8. seeing Marc's sis and her hubby and the kiddos on Sat.!

8 things that happened today
1. woke up late (7:15)
2. still managed to get out the door by 7:50 or so, whew
3. shivered my way to work through the weird fog
4. enjoyed having a sub while I met with the other physics teachers to write tests
5. was taken out to lunch by the nice chemistry folks
6. barely stopped myself from throwing my piece of junk phone across the room when it hung up on Sarah K (it hangs up on people a lot lately)
7. ate a cookie from the batch I made last night to send to the bros
8. caught up on blogs (hence finding that I was tagged...awhile ago...sorry)

8 favorite restaurants
1. BJ's - mostly because of the pizohokies...ahh, heaven in a pan
2. Kuby's Sausage House - mmmmgood german food
3. It's Greek To Me - ok, I've only eaten there twice, but it was delish both times
4. Weck's - a delicious taste of home
5. Twister's in Albuquerque - green chile cheese fries to die for (and which may actually kill the eater...)
6. Satellite Coffee in Albuquerque - not really a restaurant, but they have delish drinks and some good sandwiches too
7. Sugar Brown's in Lubbock - again, not so much a restaurant, but my fav coffee shop in the world
8. Jazz in Lubbock - delish cajun feasting

8 things on my wish list
1. a new cello case someday, when I win the lottery
2. a trip to Macedonia to see Emily K.
3. lots of books...really, that's all that's on my amazon wishlist : )
4. a dutch oven, double boiler, and a veggie steamer (and I NEVER thought I'd actually want to get those kind of things for gifts...ha, funny)
5. a big dog (first a house with a backyard though)
6. a massage
7. a trip with just Marc to somewhere we've never been
8. snow

8 people to tag
1. Mel, when your internet works again, of course
2. Emilou
3. Emily Kay, if there's time amongst the studying : )
4. Tiffany
5. April W
6. Angela
7. Emily Bryant
8. Angela H

pray for my crazy brothers

My bros, Ian and Luke, are both in the military and both in Iraq right now. One is a Gunner for the Air Force, the other an Infantryman in the Army. Both of them love what they do - they love "the ruckus" as they call it, and both are proud to serve our country. Both need Jesus, and both covet your prayers (and so do I for them!). They have been such good little brothers - always protective, often hilarious, passionate about what they love. They've both become good friends to me as we've gotten older, and they are best friends to each other. Dear God, please protect them!

Tagged by Melissa

I've been tagged to tell about a miracle...so here's an old one:

My family used to take a family vacation every summer, and since there are 6 of us, we drove everywhere because flying was mucho expensive. My parents made the driving pretty fun for us, stopping at various places en route to our destination, so even trips to Massachusetts (where my grandparents were) were pretty fun despite being on the road for 3 - 5 days. On one of these trips, we were on our way home (I think) and it was pretty late and my parents were exhausted and we (the kids) were probably pretty cranky and obnoxious by the time we got to a city to stop at. For some reason we didn't have a hotel prearranged - I really don't remember why, maybe we were having car trouble or something. The downside to no hotel reservations was that randomly that city had experienced a power outage and so every hotel was filled with the city's residents. Now that I think about it, I have no idea why the hotels had power but the houses didn't...curious. Anyway, so we tried a couple hotels with no luck, and all the time we're getting whinier and my p's are getting more and more frustrated. At the last hotel we stopped at, the hotel people told us "sorry, no room at the inn," but then some guy came up to my p's and said that the hotel people were mistaken, and that there was a room. So, my p's, assuming this guy works for the hotel, take the key and we unload and hit the sack. The next morning, my parents want to thank the guy, and he is nowhere to be found. In fact, the people at the front desk have never heard of this guy - he did not work for the hotel, he was not a guest. Very twilight zone-ish... but my parents' response was to thank God for sending an angel to rescue us when we needed a place to sleep. Who knows why the hotel people told us there wasn't a room available, when there actually was, but our "angel" sure did save the day, or rather, the night. It sure would have been a miserable night spent sleeping in the van!

So now I want to hear more miracles! Comment here or post your own!