People, it is snowing AGAIN! And I don't mean snowing a flake or two, it's coming down! Not sure I moved to New Mexico...when does it ever snow this much here? I love it!
So about skankin', lest you worry, I have not become a pirate hooker (ha ha, that's for you Ron Burgundy fans), rather I am referring to the ever-fantastic ska show dancing. My brother took me to a ska show last week for my surprise Christmas present, and I thought I ought to report on it as I am on the quest for ska-world-domination. Ha, ok maybe not, but it was a super fun show, and if you don't know how to skank, here's why you should learn:
The opening act was a bank called Made in Bangladesh and they were a high-schoolish (maybe college) band that was "heinously out of tune" (so said my bro), but the good news is that despite a certain lack of skill in the intonation world, they were so obviously having fun on stage that you couldn't help but love them. After having gone to some shows this fall that featured pretty typical dressing-up-because-i'm-on-stage people (which I'm not criticizing...really), it was kind of refreshing to go to a show where the lead singer is wearing a t-shirt and khaki cargos and has his hair slicked back like mr. nerd. Ska shows definitely have a certain fashion expected (think bowler hats and lots of black and white checked stuff) but these kids totally ignored that. Besides dressing like normal people, these kids also danced all over the stage, and by danced I mean skanked it up. Most of you probably know my love for skankin, but let me just tell you how much I enjoyed seeing people on stage dance not in a weird jerky i'm-on-speed kind of way (which seems to be the typical style lately). So the second band was Danny Winn and the Earthlings, which is not usually one of my favorites, but they were such an enormous improvement in the playing-chords-with-notes-that-actually-go-together area...and they also turned out to be way better live than their recordings. They play a slower ska, which is hard to skank to, but that's ok, they were great. The last band was Giant Steps, a bunch of old guys who are teachers in various Albuquerque schools. They had a full horn section and were stinkin' sweet! Great beats, especially their reggae, great horns, great skankin, all around fantastic. I stayed up in the grown-up balcony because I didn't want to be pulverized downstairs (skankin is not the most gentle of dancing), so I had to be content with dancing in my little foot of space...not to worry though, I put on some old five iron and skanked all by my happy little self once I got home. That's maybe why I love ska so much - it just makes you wanna dance! And it's happy music, which is good, esp. in the midst of winter. Lately it seems that all I do is fight for joy, fight against being down and feeling sorry for myself and missing M, so it was nice to have an unanticipated night of straight up easy joy and dancing and laughter! And Ian (the bro) said it perfectly: "you know, the scene here is so great because the bands know they aren't gonna get rich or famous in albuquerque, they're just playing for the love." For the love people, for the love.
For the love, and a small fee, I'll teach you how to skank....Ha ha, just kidding, but really, you should learn because it's fun. And you can be a rhythmically challenged individual (like me) and still skank. Come on, you know you wanna!
Friday, December 29, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Merry Christmas!
O SOURCE OF ALL GOOD,
What shall I render to thee for the gift of gifts,
Thine own dear Son, begotten, not created,
My redeemer, proxy, surety, substitute,
His self-emptying incomprehensible,
His infinity of love beyond the heart’s grasp.
Herein is wonder of wonders:
He came below to raise me above,
Was born like me that I might become like him.
Herein is love;
When I cannot rise to Him, He draws near on wings of grace,
To raise me to Himself.
Herein is power;
When Deity and humanity were infinitely apart
He united them in indissoluble unity, the uncreate and the
created.
Herein is wisdom;
When I was undone, with no will to return to Him,
And no intellect to devise recovery,
He came, God –incarnate, to save me to the uttermost,
As man to die my death,
To shed satisfying blood on my behalf,
To work out a perfect righteousness for me.
O God, take me in spirit to the watchful shepherds,
And enlarge my mind;
Let me hear good tidings of great joy,
And hearing, believe, rejoice, praise, adore,
My conscience bathed in an ocean of repose,
My eyes uplifted to a reconciled Father;
Place me with ox, ass, camel, goat,
To look with them upon my redeemer’s face,
And in Him account myself delivered from sin;
Let me with Simeon clasp the new-born child to my heart,
Embrace Him with undying faith,
Exulting that He is mine and I am His.
In Him thou hast given me so much that heaven can give no more.
(From the “Valley of Vision”, a collection of Puritan prayers)
What shall I render to thee for the gift of gifts,
Thine own dear Son, begotten, not created,
My redeemer, proxy, surety, substitute,
His self-emptying incomprehensible,
His infinity of love beyond the heart’s grasp.
Herein is wonder of wonders:
He came below to raise me above,
Was born like me that I might become like him.
Herein is love;
When I cannot rise to Him, He draws near on wings of grace,
To raise me to Himself.
Herein is power;
When Deity and humanity were infinitely apart
He united them in indissoluble unity, the uncreate and the
created.
Herein is wisdom;
When I was undone, with no will to return to Him,
And no intellect to devise recovery,
He came, God –incarnate, to save me to the uttermost,
As man to die my death,
To shed satisfying blood on my behalf,
To work out a perfect righteousness for me.
O God, take me in spirit to the watchful shepherds,
And enlarge my mind;
Let me hear good tidings of great joy,
And hearing, believe, rejoice, praise, adore,
My conscience bathed in an ocean of repose,
My eyes uplifted to a reconciled Father;
Place me with ox, ass, camel, goat,
To look with them upon my redeemer’s face,
And in Him account myself delivered from sin;
Let me with Simeon clasp the new-born child to my heart,
Embrace Him with undying faith,
Exulting that He is mine and I am His.
In Him thou hast given me so much that heaven can give no more.
(From the “Valley of Vision”, a collection of Puritan prayers)
Friday, December 22, 2006
snow dog!
Folks, this is the most snow I remember getting since 9th grade! 9 inches at my house!!! Yay for SNOW! The quality of these pictures isn't the most fantastic, but my camera didn't have batteries, and my phone had to suffice.
Yep, I built a snow dog...it's a little hard to see, hence the paint add-ins.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Goodbye Pirate Eye
First, It's SNOWING!!!
And, winter break is the GREATEST invention of ALL time!!
Finally, about pirate eye, it seems my eyes are "rejecting gas permeable lenses"....according to my eye doc, I'm way too young for my eyes to reject hard contacts, but since I can't see anymore and I am constantly rubbing my eyes, it's time for soft contacts. Dun dun dun. I'm actually kinda sad to see the old green shards of glass in my eye go...I mean, you feel like you're in a very exclusive club when you wear hard contacts. That is absolutely ridiculous, I know, but really, there's an immediate affinity when you meet people who wear hard contacts. Especially in the "I know what you mean!" category of pirate eye, and random there's-nothing-in-the-air pirate eye in particular! But, oh well, I spose I can handle being kicked out of the hard contact club if it means that I don't rub my eyes 80 thousand times a day. For the 4 or so days that I've been wearing these soft contacts though, all I can say is that while it's nice to not deal with dirt clods stuck under my contacts, I can't see worth c-rap! and putting in and taking out these dadgum enormous contacts is a 20 minute per eye trial every day! I never had to actually touch my eyes before! Now I dig in them! And apparently hard contact wearer's corneas have to repair themselves, which mine are doing with a vengeance...a little haywire...vision changes daily! Oh well, at least I am being reminded how much I take sight for granted! And someday, when I learn how to poke my eyes without a massive onslaught of unwelcome tears and when my corneas simmer down, seeing without pirate eye will be really, really nice. My eyes are still green too, by the way (for you anti-colored-contacts people who thought I turned my eyes green with contacts, well, now my contacts are clear and my eyes are still green! take that!).
And, winter break is the GREATEST invention of ALL time!!
Finally, about pirate eye, it seems my eyes are "rejecting gas permeable lenses"....according to my eye doc, I'm way too young for my eyes to reject hard contacts, but since I can't see anymore and I am constantly rubbing my eyes, it's time for soft contacts. Dun dun dun. I'm actually kinda sad to see the old green shards of glass in my eye go...I mean, you feel like you're in a very exclusive club when you wear hard contacts. That is absolutely ridiculous, I know, but really, there's an immediate affinity when you meet people who wear hard contacts. Especially in the "I know what you mean!" category of pirate eye, and random there's-nothing-in-the-air pirate eye in particular! But, oh well, I spose I can handle being kicked out of the hard contact club if it means that I don't rub my eyes 80 thousand times a day. For the 4 or so days that I've been wearing these soft contacts though, all I can say is that while it's nice to not deal with dirt clods stuck under my contacts, I can't see worth c-rap! and putting in and taking out these dadgum enormous contacts is a 20 minute per eye trial every day! I never had to actually touch my eyes before! Now I dig in them! And apparently hard contact wearer's corneas have to repair themselves, which mine are doing with a vengeance...a little haywire...vision changes daily! Oh well, at least I am being reminded how much I take sight for granted! And someday, when I learn how to poke my eyes without a massive onslaught of unwelcome tears and when my corneas simmer down, seeing without pirate eye will be really, really nice. My eyes are still green too, by the way (for you anti-colored-contacts people who thought I turned my eyes green with contacts, well, now my contacts are clear and my eyes are still green! take that!).
Monday, December 11, 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Hot Pot of CO-fee!
Well, it's now been a week since the goodbye...and finally it is beginning to sink in and I am so very sad. Heartbroken really. I didn't really feel anything about it for the last week...except for a few random moments of sudden tears that lasted just a minute or two. Today there's a heaviness.
So, in an effort to remember all those things I wrote in the last post (God does what is good and all that), here's what's pretty wonderful about life at the moment:
* There's a lot to laugh about...like Benchwarmers (movie) and a book called Frost On My Moustache and family antics and ridiculous kids who throw clay on the ceiling when they're supposed to be modeling atoms with that clay (which I was initially angry about, but now think is pretty hilarious, shh, don't tell them).
* I get to play my cello a lot this month...a couple times on Sunday morning with the new fab-o worship guy, and next sat. too for a benefit dinner (which is actually kinda scary as it'll just be me playing for that...but the plan is to just play a couple half hour sets of fairly recognizable music, like pachelbel's canon etc.).
* Friendships that run deep. Friday was a really rough day - had a bit of a showdown with a student in the last 10 minutes of the last period of the day which actually made my stomach hurt - so I came home feeling very down due to the whole goodbye thing finally hitting me, and this showdown with the kid, and my stomach hurting...but it was ok because I came home to a letter from Emilou that made me cry because it was so exactly what I needed. And I don't mean cry in a bad way, but cry because somebody understands and somebody loves me, and because God brought her letter to my doorstep just when I needed it.
* Hot beverages...ahhh, how much do I love thee hot pot of coffee! So many opportunities for hot tea, hot coffee, hot chocolate, hot cider...yesssss! hot mugs in my forever cold hands, and hot beverages warming me from the inside out, and cinnamon, lots and lots of cinnamon.
* Good music to listen to. I've discovered that Imogen Heap is pretty fantastic (who knew I would love "electronica"???) and sometimes you just need to listen to music that fits the mood...which would be a lot of coldplay and a lot of beck, both mellow and good for the heart. Well actually, they're sort of mellow in a depressing kind of way, but they just fit and it's good.
* Remembering dreams of yesterday...like it has occurred to me that I would be eligible to teach overseas if I just teach one more year here. That's not long at all! Granted, during 7th period, another year seems like an eternity that I may just not be able to handle...but after 3pm, another year doesn't sound so long. And then I could go anywhere. ANYWHERE!!! and now that the goodbye has occurred, there's nobody to choose over living everywhere, so...world, here I come(!). Where to first???
* I've always wanted blue hair...and my sister Hannah has been using me for a model for her photo final, and I got to wear my blue wig for the photo shoot. (Photo shoot is fun to say, by the way) The photos she's actually using are in black and white, but we played with my digital camera to see how the color turned out too. Sadly the quality wasn't great, but here are some of my favorites (and I have blue hair!):
So, in an effort to remember all those things I wrote in the last post (God does what is good and all that), here's what's pretty wonderful about life at the moment:
* There's a lot to laugh about...like Benchwarmers (movie) and a book called Frost On My Moustache and family antics and ridiculous kids who throw clay on the ceiling when they're supposed to be modeling atoms with that clay (which I was initially angry about, but now think is pretty hilarious, shh, don't tell them).
* I get to play my cello a lot this month...a couple times on Sunday morning with the new fab-o worship guy, and next sat. too for a benefit dinner (which is actually kinda scary as it'll just be me playing for that...but the plan is to just play a couple half hour sets of fairly recognizable music, like pachelbel's canon etc.).
* Friendships that run deep. Friday was a really rough day - had a bit of a showdown with a student in the last 10 minutes of the last period of the day which actually made my stomach hurt - so I came home feeling very down due to the whole goodbye thing finally hitting me, and this showdown with the kid, and my stomach hurting...but it was ok because I came home to a letter from Emilou that made me cry because it was so exactly what I needed. And I don't mean cry in a bad way, but cry because somebody understands and somebody loves me, and because God brought her letter to my doorstep just when I needed it.
* Hot beverages...ahhh, how much do I love thee hot pot of coffee! So many opportunities for hot tea, hot coffee, hot chocolate, hot cider...yesssss! hot mugs in my forever cold hands, and hot beverages warming me from the inside out, and cinnamon, lots and lots of cinnamon.
* Good music to listen to. I've discovered that Imogen Heap is pretty fantastic (who knew I would love "electronica"???) and sometimes you just need to listen to music that fits the mood...which would be a lot of coldplay and a lot of beck, both mellow and good for the heart. Well actually, they're sort of mellow in a depressing kind of way, but they just fit and it's good.
* Remembering dreams of yesterday...like it has occurred to me that I would be eligible to teach overseas if I just teach one more year here. That's not long at all! Granted, during 7th period, another year seems like an eternity that I may just not be able to handle...but after 3pm, another year doesn't sound so long. And then I could go anywhere. ANYWHERE!!! and now that the goodbye has occurred, there's nobody to choose over living everywhere, so...world, here I come(!). Where to first???
* I've always wanted blue hair...and my sister Hannah has been using me for a model for her photo final, and I got to wear my blue wig for the photo shoot. (Photo shoot is fun to say, by the way) The photos she's actually using are in black and white, but we played with my digital camera to see how the color turned out too. Sadly the quality wasn't great, but here are some of my favorites (and I have blue hair!):
Monday, November 27, 2006
i don't like goodbyes
Ever feel like you're reeling from a decision that you made? Even if you think that was probably a good decision, still you almost feel suprised that your decision has changed things in your life? I said goodbye to a friend a couple days ago...the kind of goodbye that means I might not ever talk to him again. Such a heavy decision, ugh. And it wasn't just mine to make, it was a mutual decision...and it wasn't out of anger or fighting, it just seemed the right thing to do. I hate it though. How do you say goodbye? How do you make your heart listen to your brain? How do you turn off hope? How do you end one part of your life, even when you're excited to see what the next part holds?
I don't know, still working on those answers.
What I do know is that God does what is good. And it seems that he allowed this friendship to end. And I think perhaps I'm starting to recognize that maybe it doesn't matter in the slightest whether I understand. Who is God that I should understand all he does? Am I so great that I can realize the purposes he has for me in the midst of the moments of pain? No, I'm not. Nor do I really even want to be...though I want desperately to understand, I don't want to fully understand God because that means he's on my level, and that's not a good thing. I don't want to serve a God who is on my level. My level isn't enough.
The thing about pain is that it IS purposeful. And "...though God wounds, he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal." That's from Job, and I have lived enough to see some truth of that in my own life. Sometimes God allows (or causes maybe) pain, but in the end He DOES bind up and heal. And in the very end, there won't be any more tears, or any more goodbyes...and that's something to look forward to with anticipation. Heaven awaits, and I must be refined to get there. So, ok, I shall be refined. After all, Heaven Awaits...
I don't know, still working on those answers.
What I do know is that God does what is good. And it seems that he allowed this friendship to end. And I think perhaps I'm starting to recognize that maybe it doesn't matter in the slightest whether I understand. Who is God that I should understand all he does? Am I so great that I can realize the purposes he has for me in the midst of the moments of pain? No, I'm not. Nor do I really even want to be...though I want desperately to understand, I don't want to fully understand God because that means he's on my level, and that's not a good thing. I don't want to serve a God who is on my level. My level isn't enough.
The thing about pain is that it IS purposeful. And "...though God wounds, he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal." That's from Job, and I have lived enough to see some truth of that in my own life. Sometimes God allows (or causes maybe) pain, but in the end He DOES bind up and heal. And in the very end, there won't be any more tears, or any more goodbyes...and that's something to look forward to with anticipation. Heaven awaits, and I must be refined to get there. So, ok, I shall be refined. After all, Heaven Awaits...
Saturday, November 25, 2006
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