waiting

sometimes i am so impatient...
today, while doing some of the study that melissa and i are doing, i learned some things about waiting and, while i'm till trying to digest what i read, it seems like putting it into writing might begin to make what i learned real. In this study, there is a story about a girl named ruth and a boy named levi...levi has asked ruth to marry him and ruth is waiting, waiting, waiting for levi to come for her. The story is a parallel of us being the bride of christ, waiting waiting waiting for him to come for us.
i am impatient like ruth in two major ways: impatient to begin my life with M and impatient to be who I want (ought) to be... being impatient for M makes me a total whiny crybaby and (i think) a heavy weight on his back...it makes me selfish and blinds me towards everybody else as i'm consumed with me...and, since i know that that isn't right and that i shouldn't feel or act the way i do, i get so frustrated because i'm not "moving along" on that path to perfection like i think i should be, because i'm not who i want to be...and i am impatient for God to change me and to make me perfect.
The study today said that waiting should be purposeful - that, as i wait, I should be 'waiting on' other people... and so i realize that, in waiting for both M and for Jesus, I am becoming who I ought to be. As I wait for M, i should be trying to become the kind of woman who would be a wife that brings honor to her husband - and this kind of wife is one who's eyes are not on herself but on others and what she can do for them...As I wait for Jesus to come for me, I am becoming the kind of bride that brings honor to Him. If I am waiting, then I'm not through yet... and i'm not just waiting, i'm waiting with the purpose of growing, changing, becoming...
Strap used to say that you should be an A+ person who looks for and marries an A+ person...and I have been frustrated by my lack of A+ness lately - but i'm realizing that, though I've found an A+ person, i (and probably he) have more to learn before we can be A+ people together - so while we wait, i should take hope in the fact that i am becoming a more fit partner for him...
Maybe waiting isn't so bad after all...