new music, a recipe, and a picture

First, here's a picture of my sweet boy. He's been smiling and laughing and talking up a storm and I love it! I had no idea babies were so fun...little did I know!

Second, I just discovered Josh Garrels' music and it is SO good! You can get his album for free on his website or on noisetrade (which, by the way, is a great site for getting new music). I'm not really sure how to describe his sound...different, eclectic, creative, melodic...I like it a whole lot.

And finally, I made this for dinner tonight and remembered how good it is, so I thought I should post it in case you need a new recipe to try. This actually came from my mom's Weight Watchers cook book.

Caribbean Black Beans & Chicken (Serves 4, takes approx. 30 min to cook)

1 1/2 t canola oil

3/4 lb skinless, boneless chicken breasts, cut into 1 in. pieces

1/2 t salt

1 sm. onion, chopped (I skip this ingredient)

2 lg jalapenos, seeded & minced - wear gloves! (leave some seeds in if you want some heat)

1 T fresh ginger, peeled and minced (I use a small root and don't bother to actually measure)

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 15 oz. can black beans, drained and rinsed

1/2 c orange juice

1/2 t dried thyme

1/4 t ground allspice

1 c diced fresh pineapple

1/4 c fresh cilantro, chopped

Heat 1 t oil in a large nonstick skillet over med-hi heat. Add chicken; sprinkle with 1/4 t salt and cook, turning occasionally, until browned and cooked through, about 5 min. Transfer to a plate. Add remaining 1/2 t oil to same skillet, then add onion, jalapenos, ginger, and garlic. Cook over med-hi heat, stirring often, until onion is golden, about 4 min. Stir in the beans, orange juice, thyme, allspice, and remaining 1/4 t salt and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer uncovered about 2 minutes. Return chicken to the skillet and heat through, about 1 minute. Serve with pineapple and cilantro.

Tonight I also baked some corn bread (just the Jiffy box) and we put a piece of cornbread on the bottom of a bowl, then topped that with the chicken and beans, and then put pineapple on top of that. I thought it was pretty delish.

Check this out!

So cool!

Interesting Thoughts

Marc and I have been reading Sacred Parenting, by Gary Thomas, together and so far it's been great. We're not very far in, but the first couple chapters have been very thought provoking. Here's a quote from Chapter 2:

"Abigail (Adams) wrote this profound comment to her son: 'It is not in the still calm of life...that great characters are formed. The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties. Great necessities call out great virtues. When a mind is raised, and animated by scenes that engage the heart, then those qualities which would otherwise lay dormant, wake into life and form the character of the hero and the statesman.'"

and from the end of the chapter:

"Sacred parenting calls me to accept the hardest hurt of all - for the sake of God's kingdom and for the sake of our children's own development. I need to allow my kids to face challenges, failure, rejection, and pain, and then teach them to use these seemingly negative events to fuel their sense of mission and to foster their dependence on God."

Shenanigans, Sanity, and Steadfast Love

As usual, it's been a long time since I've posted, sorry about that to anyone who might still read this. I've actually had a lot of "I should post about this" thoughts in the last couple months, but no time to do so...or actually, when there was time, no desire to do so. Hence another 3 month absence. So, I survived the 9th month of pregnancy, and I survived labor and delivery, and I survived the first month of motherhood. All I want to say about the end of pregnancy is that I was really glad it was the end, and all I want to say about labor is that although it was really hard (labor turns out to be a really fitting name!) and I hurt a whole lot afterwards, I'd do it again and it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. And that brings me to motherhood...

First, I love being a mother. I secretly wondered after I discovered that I was prego whether I would miss being just the 2 of us and whether I would really just be a mom or whether I'd have to sort of fake it until I felt like a mom. In hindsight, I loved Archer before he got here and I love him more each day. I feel like a mom and I love being a mom and I'm glad it's the 3 of us now. It feels right that it's the 3 of us. What an incredible change God made in my heart, from not wanting kids at all just a few years ago! And speaking of changes God has made, is making, motherhood seems to have launched me into the "you have an incredibly dark heart that needs to be lit up" phase of life. I've had a lot of meltdowns since April 29th (Archer's birthday), most of which have been started because of the dog situation, but many of which have also been over not knowing what to do and being generally overwhelmed. If you remember a few posts back, our dog Kya had 5 puppies in mid March. We knew there would be some overlap between pups and baby because they were only 5 wks old when Archer was born, however I thought that it would be easy to sell those puppies by the time they were 8 weeks old and thought that I could do anything for 3 weeks. Ha, WELL, they have not been so easy to sell...in fact, we still have 2 left and they are almost 14 weeks old. While the pups are very, very cute, they also make an unbelievable amount of mess and noise and, because I'm a softy, I worry about them a ton. If they're outside, I worry that they'll get hurt or get out of the fence or that the big dogs are being mean, and when they're inside I feel bad about keeping them locked in the mud room and not letting them run around and play and cuddle with us in the rest of the house. I can't say that I'm a clean freak...in fact, messiness has always been somewhat ok with me, but the state of our house pushes me over the edge on a pretty regular basis because of the amount of dirt that is everywhere, and the lovely smell of excrement that frequently peppers the air. I do have to say that it was MUCH worse - just 2 pups is a whole lot easier than 5, and they're starting to understand the concept of pottying outside as well which is VERY exciting! Ok, so back to the meltdowns, I have cried a lot of tears over the mess, over the worry, and, embarrassingly enough, over being mad at God for not selling our dogs in a timely fashion. I had prayed and prayed for the dogs to be sold to good homes and I didn't understand why they just lingered here and I was ticked about it - I mean, didn't God see that I needed a clean(er) house for my little son, and quiet for my own sanity, and less of a burden on my shoulders? He was fully capable of finding the puppies good homes and He hadn't. The day I realized what exactly I was feeling and why I was crying, I was horrified. Mad...at the God of the Universe...because He wasn't following my timeline and my life was so "hard"... sigh. So that was the first of the dark heart realizations. I've also realized that I don't think I actually really believed that God does what is good. I always thought I knew that and would have proudly told you that I believed God was good, but then I had a son and I started to worry about him. The first day that I was by myself with Archer was hard. I felt like I had the sole responsibility and weight of keeping him alive on my shoulders, and so I cried and cried and checked to make sure he was breathing about 8000 times. That night we had a tornado warning, and the news made it look like it was coming straight through our town. I grew up in a place where there are really no natural disasters ever, so the thought of a tornado is terrifying to me, all the more so because now I have a son to protect and all those people in Joplin had just experienced a terrible tornado a few days before. So, I nervously waited in the bathroom with the dogs and Archer while Marc watched the weather channel just about as carefree as could be. The tornado didn't pass through after all, and when Marc and I were talking about it and my reaction to it, I came to the terrible conclusion that I didn't trust God to do what was good. I've also realized in the past few weeks that I somehow think that God owes me. Right, you read that correctly. How ridiculous and how shameful a feeling! I am so blessed to have a God who doesn't give up on me though, but who uses things like motherhood and puppies to bring me to my knees. I've been reading a lot of Psalms with Archer. Psalms are about all I can mentally handle these days, and I read them aloud while I'm feeding Archer...kind of goofy, I know he can't understand them, but it feels like I should start planting seeds now, so I read Psalms to my 8 week old child. Over and over and over again the Holy Spirit is pointing out to me that God loves steadfastly, and that is one of the most wonderful attributes God has in my opinion. God's heart is steadfast when mine is in bad shape, and He will continue to work. Here's the verse that has been my retreat for the last month or so:

Psalm 69:13

But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord.

At an acceptable time, O God,

in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness.

I'm just sayin'

Well, it turns out that by the 9th month pregnancy is not that fun anymore...or maybe I've just turned into a whiny baby! Sure am glad Marc loves me and puts up with me :).

We went for our last sonogram Monday and the munchkin is estimated to be 6.9 lbs...already...and he has a giant noggin. The doc measured twice because she thought she'd overmeasured the first time...lol, guess he inherited Marc's melon and not my little pea head. Alas! Not that I don't love Marc's head, I just don't love the thought of that having to leave my body! Sorry, probably too much info, but there it is. Everyone has said though that the thought of labor gets to be less bad the closer you get because you just get so uncomfortable that you'll take any option for getting the kid out of your belly and into your arms. I thought people were nuts and that labor was going to sound pretty awful any way you looked at it, but it turns out that I actually am getting more and more ready to be done and less and less terrified of the laboring. I mean, women do this every day. Apparently God made my body to do this process in fact. Not that I think it is going to be enjoyable, but I'm just ready to have ankles again and feet that are normal size and not carry around a 35 lb dumbell all day and all night and not wake up to use the bathroom more than once in the wee hours of the morning and not grow out of my clothes every other day (seems like it's that frequent at least) and not be so grumpy all the time because of feeling generally blegh. Come on Baby, it's time! Almost time at least...I do still have write lesson plans for my sub, and our house needs some serious cleaning and organizing...

Life

Our little baby Kya had her own babies this last weekend! Her pregnancy was unintentional...in fact, the plan was to get her spayed (and Kajani neutered) over spring break...instead, they snuck in some baby making in January and so we had puppies over spring break! Watching her have those little guys was absolutely amazing. What a miracle it is that new life can grow and develop inside the body. These baby puppies are so unbelievably cute too! So squirmy and wiggly. They are absolutely helpless - can't see, can't hear, can't even poo by themselves. Kya has been a good little momma though. Aside from occasionally seeming a little overwhelmed and starting to cry herself when one (or more) has gotten wedged in behind her and is squealing, she's handled everything like a champ. Watching her actually makes me feel a little bit more confident about our own munchkin (who will be making an appearance in just 5 and a half weeks if he's on time! crazy!) - if she knows what to do and she's not even quite a year old, I guess maybe my instincts will kick in too. That and I'll have my mom to help in that first week and my mother in law the second week : ). So there are 5 puppies - 4 girls and a boy. A couple have little black ridges but the rest are all kind of a gray brown color so far. We took everybody to the vet today and he said they all look like they're doing well. As much as we didn't want Kya to have puppies, and as impressively bad as the timing is on this (they can't go to new homes until they're 8 - 9 weeks old... our baby AJ is going to be born before that happens... no sleeping at the Uptmore house!), I am really glad we got to experience this - partially because it satisfies my science nerdery, but mostly because it just ups my affection for God and his amazing creation by about a million fold!

Snow!

This weather is unbelievable! The weather report on the news said that the snow was expected to drop maybe up to a couple inches and stop sometime in the wee hours of the morning Friday...well, it's 1:48 pm and it's STILL SNOWING! I love it!!! Not to mention 4 days off school - what a blessing : ). Not only because I, along with the students of America, enjoy a free day off of school, but also because I have somehow managed to catch a cold despite the amazing amount of vitamin c I consume in the form of orange juice (iron pills are apparently better absorbed with vitamin c, so I've been taking them with a glass of oj) and prenatal vitamins...and I can't take any days off work because I need all my days for maternity leave...and I'd be absolutely miserable trying to teach with the everflowing snot machine that is my head and the nasty wracking cough that resides in my chest. So, praise Jesus for days off work with no official time taken off!

Here are some pics from this morning - Marc took the pups out to run around in the snow for a bit because they're getting a little stir crazy. Also, Marc took my 28 wk belly pic yesterday, so it's also below. Unfortunately it's not so flattering, but alas, we took 4 pics and they pretty much all looked the same! And, just in case you were going to ask, no, I am not carrying twins and you should never ask a pregnant woman that - she will not take it as a complement (or at least I haven't)! After all I typed yesterday about loving my giant belly, it was kinda funny last night to actually see a picture of it and think "Holy cow, I really do have a giant belly! and I have 3 more months to grow!" Should be fun : )!

chinese cabbage

The munchkin is the size and weight of a chinese cabbage this week (so says Baby Center at least). I didn't really know what exactly a chinese cabbage was, at least size-wise, so I looked it up, and lo and behold: a chinese cabbage

Apparently that is about 2 and a quarter pounds in weight. He has eyelashes and can blink them and he's working on filling some fat into those alien wrinkles. I'm officially 28 weeks, which means the 3rd trimester is upon us! This has gone SO fast!

All in all I'd have to say that I really like being pregnant. It's pretty amazing to get to experience this miracle within my own body, and for the most part I've felt pretty good. The worst part has been wanting to sleep so badly and not being able to fall asleep because my hips are hurting or random obscure muscles I didn't know I had are cramping or acid is seeping into my throat from my stomach...but that doesn't always happen, and when I can sleep I usually sleep pretty well, so that's a blessing! One thing I really didn't expect was to feel pretty beautiful and womanly with this crazy body. Fortunately God blessed me with a little height, so mostly I've just grown out in front instead of grown all over, but I actually really kinda love this giant belly. It's just so amazing to think that there is a little boy in there squirming about (in fact, doing a jig right at this moment I think), and I guess I feel like this is what my body was made to do, so it's good. Marc definitely helps with the self-image business too - he has always made a point to try to help me see me through his eyes, and he's been especially sweet in the last few months as I grow and grow and GROW. But even without his help, I feel so much more confident in the way I look than normal. Weird! I guess I never really thought about how I would feel, physically or mentally or emotionally, when I was prego, so this has come as a surprise. A goooood surprise! The thing that I cannot mentally wrap my brain around, still, is that in 3 short months we will have a little boy who lives here. That is nuts! NUTS! Marc was just saying the other day that he doesn't feel old enough to be a parent, and I don't either...I know, I know, he's 31 and I'm 28, but I don't think that either of us feel like adults most of the time. I think about my friend Amber who has 4 kids and is my age, and I'm amazed...I guess I'm just a slow grower! I'm ok with that though : ). God had a lot of work to do in my heart before I could even contemplate becoming a mother! He still has a lot of work to do in t-3 months!

Ok, I should go move the laundry along, so for now I will just end with a few pics. I have not been very good about taking them all along...wish I had! I'll have to take one today to mark the beginning of the 3rd trimester!